Do you know even a single Train Journey will bring grooms to marry? Find out how.

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So, I was travelling home for a weekend. As soon I got onto the train, I noticed someone had already occupied my place, who was in her mid-fifties, so I sat on the empty seat beside my reserved seat. She was already involved in some conversation related to Covid vaccination with the other women in the compartment. This conversation was entirely in Tamil. What would a typical young Indian woman who is travelling alone do? I called my mom to inform her that I got the train and will be reaching early morning. I usually speak Telugu with my parents. I also have to mention that my Telugu is different from what they Speak in Andhra Pradesh. This fact brings to the matter that people can easily recognize my community.

 

The next second after I got off the phone, I heard the 55-year-old woman excitedly asking me where I hail from, what I do, what my parents do, all in my MOTHER TONGUE. It was clear that she recognized that I am from the same community as she is, thus initiated the conversation. She was explaining how they moved to Chennai and also mentioned that she has a son and daughter. She double-quoted that his son is NOT married yet, and they are looking for brides. I was not sure if she would have discussed it with any other women.

 

And then there was my mind voice yelling, “Oh, Crap!. BOOOOOOM! Little did I know that she was interviewing, scanning me, analyzing whether I would be a perfect fit for his son. She also asked blatantly whether I love someone or if my parents have already found a groom for me. I felt ridiculous and stupid. I honestly said NO. In hindsight, I should have told her that I already have a BF. But it was too late. She began asking for my family history. She asked me how old am I. I replied that I am 26-year old. Thank God I told the truth. Her face was drooping. She must have been very good at Mathematics, I assume. By that time, she calculated everything and said in a sad voice, “Ma, you are 6-months Older than my son”. Oh Man! that is what you need. It was a great relief. The entire herculean interview session she put went vain. If her son were of my equal age, she definitely would have enquired about my address, Phone number and would have visited my home the next day for wedding matters. 

The entire conversation/interview ended after 30mins. We hardly had any conversation after that.

Why do parents keep gawking wherever they see a POTENTIAL bride?. I haven’t come across a bride’s parents desperately looking for a groom in public places. I was able to feel the depth of the sordid patriarchal, sexist society. I can’t help myself being judgemental a few times. She also mentioned that her son prefers only girls from the rural part and not from the metropolitan. Why? Because people often assume that Rural women are soft-hearted and don’t question men. They blindly follow whatever men ask them to do. Women from the city have their own opinion who are independent. Few articulate beyond marriage. Some men want to subvert women. That’s why Women are being troubled by this situation.

Are we going to treat women that way? Don’t men want their partners to be successful? What’s wrong if the woman is older than the man in the marriage system?. When are we going to stop being misogynists? Should power always lie with men? Aren’t women capable of consuming power? 

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