Facing Uncertainty as Someone with an Autoimmune Disease During the Covid-19 Outbreak

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Covid-19
CoronaVirus

Covid-19 Uncertainty

These are strange times.  Last week was a completely normal everyday life for me.  Going to work, shopping, seeing friends, socializing. This week, I’ve been told to isolate, the stores are empty, many are closed altogether, the restaurants are closed.  It feels like life has come to a standstill. There’s a lot of Covid-19 uncertainty looming. Covid-19 is a strange word anymore as it has grown to become a pandemic. It was formerly known as “Coronavirus”. When I hear of Corona, I still remember the good Mexican Beer though. This Covid-19 uncertainty won’t last long, that I am firm on.

Background

I suffer from 2 autoimmune diseases.  More about the autoimmune disease here. I also suffer from asthma.  This puts me into the “high risk” category per the CDC.  CDC information found here. According to this latest information, I fall into that category of people that should stay home and away from other people.  That definitely isn’t a good feeling when you read something like that. I was told by my doctor the same thing. That I need to self-isolate until April 1st. Reading that exposure to this could end my life is a real eye-opener. I am not sure if one needs a health-insurance everywhere.

The Real Fear

They are saying that it is quite dangerous to those of us with these preexisting health conditions.  The thought of being living on a respirator shakes me to the core. I watched my father live his last month that way many years ago, and it still haunts me. It’s having life slap you in the face, making you face your mortality, and feel exceeding lonely at the same time.  I’m not sure if I want to cry, pour my soul into my artwork, do anything possible to spend time with the ones I love or crawl into a ball in the corner. Honestly, all I want is to see the ones I love in case I can’t at some point. That’s what scares me the most.

I try my best not to dwell on that part, I try to read about the parts of it not being so bad, try to stay away from the news, from my newsfeed full of stories of doom and gloom.  I’m doing my best to keep my mental health up and not get pulled into the abyss of sadness. I use music to keep my spirits up, watch funny shows, watch love stories, anything to keep me happy.

Hopes

With a phoenix tattooed on my arm, because in the past, like a phoenix I have risen from the ashes.  I will do it again if I need to. I will never give up. 

The best we can do really is stay positive, do the right things, follow the protocols.  I keep looking for positive stories, and I hope mine can be one too. So I will go on, creating art, reading, learning, trying new things at home, learning to love myself a little more.  It’s not the things in life that matter, it’s the people that mean the most to you. 

Maybe it’s not isolation, maybe it’s a chance to enjoy the simpler things in life.  To enjoy and appreciate the small things, not the large worldly things that we have become so accustomed to. Every day is a new experience,  and this is uncharted territory. I think I will just try to enjoy the ride without worrying if I will survive it or not. As I should not constantly about money, else it could eat at me until it destroys me.  Enjoy the time with those you love, love yourself a little bit more, don’t be so hard on yourself. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, make the most of today.

 

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